


I'll Help You Through

by Evie_12



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Claustrophobia, Eggsy panics, M/M, Merwin, Panic Attacks, description of traumatic childhood too, mention of bad childhood experiences, merlin helps, semi-bad mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27183535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evie_12/pseuds/Evie_12
Summary: Eggsy has claustrophobia thanks to Dean and his childhood, he gets stuck in a small space but Merlin helps him through it.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	I'll Help You Through

“Door coming up on your left Galahad, go in there and I’ll let you know when it’s safe to come out okay?” 

Eggsy could hear the urgency in Merlin’s voice and didn’t question him as he skidded round the corner and ripped the door open, slamming in shut behind him.

“Oh fuck” He mumbled and panted as quietly as he could as he was surrounded by darkness, the four walls of the small supply closet he was in seemingly leaving him with an inch of space all round. Being claustrophobic wasn’t exactly an ideal phobia for a Kingsman agent but Dean was to blame for that one, he didn’t exactly leave Eggsy with many good memories that’s for sure and being locked in a kitchen cupboard as a way to shut him up from the ages of 5 till 12, till he couldn’t fit in them anymore basically, had scarred him for life. 

He tried to even out his breathing but couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen into lungs, his trembling hands patted at the sides of the closet walls. “Shit, c’mon bruv don’t be a twat. S’only a room, not a cupboard. Not a fucking cupboard” He closed his eyes and forced himself not to whimper by biting his lip as hard as he could stand, the pain a welcome distraction.

“Galahad? What’s wrong lad?” He barely heard Merlin’s voice when the handler spoke after a few minutes. “Galahad? Answer me boy what’s going on with ye?” Merlin tried again, sounding alarmed.

“Too c-close” He stuttered out and covered his ears to stop the ringing and shook his head as sudden flashes of the memories of his childhood that he’d blocked out came right the forefront of his mind. “No, no please. Please l-let me out, please” He forgot where he was for a moment as he kept chanting and pleading under his breath. The walls seemed to be getting closer and closer to him, his mind telling him that he was 6 again and Dean had locked him up, the few short minutes he’d spent in the confined space feeling like hours.

“Eggsy, I need ye to breathe for me lad. Slowly in and out now; follow my lead” With his hands pressed to his ears, he could hear Merlin’s voice loud and clear as he was pressing against the earpiece and cutting off the sounds of gunshots outside the door. He managed to focus his mind and concentrate on copying the slow beaths the other man was doing.

“Eggsy, I know you won’t want to hear this but I need ye to stay where ye are okay? Lancelot and Bors have the rest of the mission covered and I’m coming to get ye myself”

He whimpered at the thought of being stuck in the closet for a while longer and felt himself beginning to panic again and tried to stomp down the looming feeling of dread in his chest.

“No no no you’re okay lad, the jets almost here I’ll not be 5 more minutes. Keep breathing for me, that’s it keep calm” Merlin soothed over the comms.

“Mis-mission” He gasped out, hoping Merlin would understand.

“You’ve done your part Eggsy, you’ve done so well. You got the flash drive; the others are taking care of rest and all we need now is to get you home safe to us aye?”

The 5 minutes Merlin promised to reach him in went by agonisingly slow but the soothing voice talking to him kept him from spiralling into a mess of panic and bad memories again. He was able to focus on the soft tones of his accent even if he wasn’t paying attention to what was being said anymore. He hadn’t realised he was sitting on the floor against the wall with his knees drawn up to his chest until the closet door opened and the light came flooding in along with Merlin crouching down and taking his hands off his ears.

“Hello boyo, shall we get ye out of here?” Merlin said and smiled warmly at him when he looked into his eyes. There was no judgement on the mans face, only slight concern and Eggsy had never been so happy to see him. He’d also never felt more in love but Merlin didn’t need to know that part.

He gladly let himself be pulled up so he could stand and was more than happy to bury himself into Merlin’s chest when he pulled him in for a hug. He felt safe in the strong arms wrapped tightly around him, the pilots uniform the man was wearing surprisingly soft against his cheek.

“I’m going to let go now Eggsy and we’re going to go back to the jet is that okay?” Merlin asked and rubbed his hand up and down his back. He nodded and took in a shuddering breath, “good boy, out we go then” Merlin said with a kiss to the side of his head.

The mansion that the conference he, Roxy and Bors were infiltrating that night was dead silent whereas before it had been full of shouts and gun shots. The other two agents having eliminated the targets whilst he was inside the supply closet. They arrived back to the plane where Merlin guided him through to the back where the bed and small en suite were situated, Lancelot and Bors had clearly been told to stay at the front of the plane and out the way of Eggsy. He was grateful that Merlin had taken that he might not want to see anybody else into consideration. He sat down on the bed with a sigh and closed his eyes when Merlin sat down next to him, not leaving any space in between them.

“M’sorry” He mumbled after a few seconds, keeping his now open eyes on the carpeted floor of the room.

“Don’t ever apologise for something like that Eggsy. It’s not your fault” Merlin’s warm hand rested on top of his knee and squeezed gently before he placed it back into his own lap.

“Not very Kingsman-y thought is it? Being scared of somethin’ so fucking stupid like a cupboard. Or closet, whatever you wanna call it” He spat out and glared at his folded hands in his lap.

“Everyone has something they’re afraid of lad, Kingsman agents included so it’s not stupid. Claustrophobia is a serious thing and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Harry’s afraid of snakes, he couldn’t complete a mission once because the mark kept a pet python and he refused to be in the same room as it. Percival can’t stand the ocean or any body of water of water really, he nearly drowned in the water test as the fear froze him in place. Kay passed out the first time he saw a tarantula in Australia, scared Morgana half to death the poor sod.” Merlin chuckled at the memory and Eggsy finally looked up at him, “what about you?”

“Flying. The feeling of not being in control of it scares me so much I vowed never to fly commercial again so I learnt to fly and now I can focus on what I’m flying rather than how it’s flying. The thought of going in a plane still terrifies me, but I’m better now than I used to be” Merlin looked so sincere that Eggsy had no choice but to feel a bit better about himself.

“S’that why you won’t let Harry drive you? ‘Cus you’re not in control?”

Merlin rolled his eyes before shaking his head, “nae, Harry’s just a shite driver”. They both laughed and a silence settled over them before Eggsy spoke up, “Dean used to lock me in the kitchen cupboards when I was younger and he didn’t want to see me or I was getting’ on his nerves somehow. Did it from when I was 5 till I was 12, used to scream to be let out but he’d get his mates to bang on the door till I shut up”

Merlin’s face fell then, “Eggsy –”

“He’d do it when I was sleeping too, would drag me there and Rottie had a dog that he would bring over and get it to claw at the door, have it growl and bark at me till I couldn’t scream no more. I pissed me self the first time he got the dog out, I was 7 then. Beat me bloody for doing that too, s’why I ain’t the biggest fan of dogs neither to be honest, but JB would never hurt me I know. Charlie’s German Sheppard scared the fuck outta me but I dunno if he knew that”

Merlin nearly threw them both off the side of the bed with the force he used to pull him into an embrace, he was practically sitting in his lap.

“Christ Eggsy if that bastard wasn’t already in prison for life I’d get rid of him myself” Merlin said into his hair and squeezed him tightly. He decided to fuck it and properly straddle the older man’s lap since he was halfway there anyway, he shoved his face in the crook of neck and sighed loudly.

“Thanks, Merlin. For not makin’ fun of me and stuff” 

Merlin gently guided his face back by his hair and looked into his eyes, “I would never, no one else here would either”. Eggsy felt his breath hitch at how close their faces were, their noses practically touching. The hand on the back of his head let go of his hair and slid down to hold the back of his neck and pull him forward into a soft kiss. He couldn’t help but smile against the soft lips on his own and kissed back when he felt the smile being returned. He hummed lowly in the back of his throat when a tongue licked across the seam of his lips and parted his lips slightly in a gasp when those two big hands he often thought about cupped his arse. He let Merlin lick the roof of his mouth a few times before he pulled back, panting slightly, and grinned at the Scotsman.

“Have to say I wasn’t expectin’ that but if freakin’ out in a closet was all I needed to do to get snogged like that I woulda done it a lot sooner”

Merlin chuckled and gave him another chaste kiss, “I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time” he mumbled against his lips when they parted.

“Me too” Eggsy replied and kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Merlin honestly owns my heart. They all do, but Merlin is just a gift.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Tumblr - CoffeeTalkBaby


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